Devastated about the ramblings that Four Loko will be banned soon? New York City has already outlawed this contentious beverage, and we tragically (thankfully?) count down the days...

In preparation for when the unimaginable occurs, break your dependence on this loco brand by learning to brew your own Four Loko. Your friends will have no choice but to bring you, literally, everywhere.

Perfect proportions of caffeine, carbonation, forties, and jolly ranchers here.